Thoughts...

1.	Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
2.	One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3.	One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
4.	To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
5.	Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
6.	The older you get, the better you realize you were.
7.	I doubt, therefore I might be.
8.	Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
9.	Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
10.	Women like silent men, they think they are listening.
10.	Give a man a fish and he will eat well for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11.	Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
12.	A fool and his money are soon partying.
13.	Do pediatricians play miniature golf.?
14.	Before they invented the drawing boards, what did they go back to.?
15.	Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
16.	If all the worlds a stage, where is the audience sitting?
17.	If God dropped acid, would he see people?
18.	If one synchronized swimmer drowns ,do the rest have to drown too?
19.	If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
20.	If work is so terrific, how come you get paid to do it?
21.	If your born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
22.	If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
23.	If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
24.	Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?