Log on - Make the barbie hotter. Log off - Don't add any more wood. Monitor - Keeping a eye on the barbie. Download - Get the firewood off the ute. Floppy disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once. Window - What you shut when it's cold. Screen - What you shut in the mozzie season. Byte - What mozzies do. Bit - What mozzies did. Mega byte - What Townsville mozzies do. Chip - A bar snack. Micro chip - Whats left in the bag after you have eaten the chips. Modem - What you did to the hay fields. Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife. Laptop - Where the cat sleeps. Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster. Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks. Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed. Mainframe - What holds the shed up. Web - What spiders make. Web site - The shed or under the verandah. Curser - The old bloke that swears a lot. Search engine - What you do when the ute won't go. Upgrade - A steep hill. Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch. Mail server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch. Sound card - The bower that wins the hand of 500. User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things. Network - When you have to repair your fishing net. Internet - Complicated fish net repair method. Netscape - When fish manouvers out of reach of net. Online - When you get the laundry hung out. Off line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up. |