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| 1. | Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. |
| 2. | COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. |
| 3. | Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. |
| 4. | 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. |
| 5. | Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. |
| 6. | Computers are not intelligent. They only thinkthey are. |
| 7. | My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. |
| 8. | C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL |
| 9. | C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN |
| 10. | <--- The information went data way ---> |
| 11. | Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression. |
| 12. | The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. |
| 13. | BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. |
| 14. | The name is Baud, James Baud. |
| 15. | BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! |
| 16. | Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! |
| 17. | C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner! |
| 18. | Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. |
| 19. | Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" |
| 20. | As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. |
| 21. | Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) |
| 22. | Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups. |
| 23. | E Pluribus Modem |
| 24. | >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) |
| 25. | Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny. |
| 26. | A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. |
| 27. | An error? Impossible! My modem is errorcorrecting. |
| 28. | CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)? |
| 29. | Does fuzzy logic tickle? |
| 30. | A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. |
| 31. | 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium. |
| 32. | 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? |
| 33. | Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. |
| 34. | Windows: Just another pane in the glass. |
| 35. | SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . |
| 36. | Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk? |
| 37. | Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. |
| 38. | RAM disk is not an installation procedure. |
| 39. | Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... |
| 40. | All computers wait at the same speed. |
| 41. | Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors. |
| 42. | Go ahead, make my data! |
| 43. | Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... |
| 44. | Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... |
| 45. | ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! |
| 46. | E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. |
| 47. | Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! |
| 48. | All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? |
| 49. | Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. |
| 50. | "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 |
| 51. | DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS |
| 52. | Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS |
| 53. | Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... |
| 54. | Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one! |
| 55. | Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ... |